Embracing the Tale of Two Wolves: Balancing Our Inner Selves

The “Tale of Two Wolves” is a parable often attributed to Native American folklore, illustrating the internal struggle between opposing forces within us. While its exact origins are debated, the story resonates universally:

An elder tells their grandchild about a battle between two wolves inside us all. One wolf embodies negative traits like anger and envy, while the other represents positive qualities such as joy and compassion. When asked which wolf wins, the elder replies, “The one you feed.”

This narrative underscores the importance of nurturing our positive aspects.

The Psychological Perspective

Modern psychology suggests acknowledging our positive and negative emotions is essential for mental health. Suppressing negative emotions can lead to increased stress and psychological distress (Hayes et al., 2006). Instead, embracing and understanding these emotions can foster resilience and personal growth.

Empirical Evidence Supporting Emotional Balance

1. Emotional Acceptance: Studies indicate that accepting negative emotions, rather than avoiding them, leads to better psychological health (Shallcross et al., 2010).
   
2. Mindfulness Practices: Mindfulness, which involves observing thoughts without judgment, has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression (Keng et al., 2011).
   
3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps individuals reframe negative thought patterns, promoting a balanced internal dialogue (Hofmann et al., 2012).
   
4. Self-Compassion: Practicing self-compassion, which includes being kind to oneself during times of failure, is linked to greater emotional resilience (Neff, 2003).
   
5. Emotional Regulation: Effective emotional regulation strategies contribute to improved mental health and well-being (Gross, 2002).
   

Case Studies Illustrating the Concept

1. Overcoming Workplace Conflict: An employee struggling with a problematic colleague practiced mindfulness and CBT techniques to manage resentment. By “feeding the good wolf,” they improved their working relationship and job satisfaction.
   
2. Managing Personal Loss: After a significant personal loss, individuals engage in self-compassion exercises, allowing themselves to grieve while also embracing positive memories. This balance facilitates healing and emotional growth.
   
3. Navigating Academic Pressure: A student facing academic stress utilized emotional regulation strategies, acknowledging their anxiety while focusing on achievable goals. This approach led to improved performance and reduced stress.
   

Conclusion

The “Tale of Two Wolves” serves as a powerful reminder of the dualities within us. Embracing both our positive and negative emotions and consciously choosing to nurture the positive can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

For those interested in exploring this concept further, Dr. Christopher Bonn offers presentations, leadership development sessions, professional development, and retreats focused on harnessing the lessons from the “Tale of Two Wolves.” Contact Dr. Bonn at chris@bonfireleadershipsolutions.com for more information.

References

Gross, J. J. (2002). Emotion regulation: Affective, cognitive, and social consequences. Psychophysiology, 39(3), 281-291. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0048577201393198

Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes, and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1-25. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2005.06.006

Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427-440. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-012-9476-1

Keng, S. L., Smoski, M. J., & Robins, C. J. (2011). Effects of mindfulness on psychological health: A review of empirical studies. Clinical Psychology Review, 31(6), 1041-1056. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2011.04.006

Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032

Shallcross, A. J., Troy, A. S., Boland, M., & Mauss, I. B. (2010). Let it be: Accepting negative emotional experiences predicts decreased negative affect and depressive symptoms. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(9), 921-929. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2010.05.025